The Flying Stones. October 24, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Ripple, parallel existence.Tags: flying, life, memory, mind, peace, stones
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The flying stones.
Flying inspires my soul as though it can do anything. The idea of flying, in fact even the sight of flying makes me feel closer to nature than ever. One of my favorite acts while walking in the campus is throwing stones in the lakes, so that they appear flying on the surface.
The stone bounces off the surface of the lake and then finally sinks. As if the stone is on its last and final journey. after which it won’t be able to see the sun, the sky, the moon and the stars, no moving humans, no falling leaves, no butterfly passing by, no birds chirping and yeah! No more Arpit picking it up and throwing it in the lake.
It creates the momentarily ripples at each bounce, beautifully originating from the stone’s tip and peacefully disappearing into the water. Depicting the light and dark of the memories it holds. Creates the impression of being considerably important yet erasable. Like yellow mixing with blue for some time contains its yellowness before it being recognized as green.
Taking names while throwing the stones, I make a silent wish or request on each throw, even I don’t know what, but I remember that I do .Watching such a moment relieves you of all the worry you have. It’s comforting and it’s dynamic. A very important habit that has now became essential.
Amen.
Mnemophobic ! October 18, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in parallel existence.Tags: life, memory, mind, mnemophobia, think
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While discussing the not so faint memories with myself, I discovered what kind of fear I have. It’s been given a term “mnemophobia”. This refers, in general, to the fear of memories. I have always been amazed how a thing happened in past, partially or totally stored in some corner of our brain analyzed deeply by our heart can create such an impact on our whole life.
What I did believed always was that things happen, and they happen unknowingly. But memories create fear in me. Good memories create a situation in which everything seems less. They force us to think that the present situation always lack something. And about the bad memories, they follow you till eternity ! They are the most selfish things ever created by ourselves, for ourselves !
Indirectly I think, infact I know that I deeply suffer from this mnemophobia !
Insecure soul, I still believe in creating memories ! memories that shall live forever in one mind or another. Memories that would be in my mind, and remind me of what I have been, and thus to a good extent what I will be.
Go hell with my “for a change” philosophy, go hell with the innovation. Give me memories, memories to cherish forever, and I would be grateful to you.
Amen.
Satanicenthu
The Light Mistress. September 2, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in People, Ripple.Tags: hope, life, light, mind
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Walking in the sun, body drenched in the sweat, I saw a little, cute girl in her school uniform. She was holding an umbrella in order to be protected from the mighty sunshine. No tint of breeze, it was all glittering yellow, bright yellow. Then on the road in front of me was her, and in front of her was cloud’s shadow. A big grey colored spot, like an oasis in the desert. I try to follow her, in order to get the shade of the cloud.
I kept praying to God to hold that beautiful, grey colored form of the hope in this glaring sunlight. And so I followed that little girl or the Light mistress as I thought her to be, as she was the one leading that ‘hope’. I tried to quicken my steps in order to reach there, but it just carried along with her.
And then I realized, she was taking away my ‘hope’, the goodness in the life, the nurturing part of the nature. I was annoyed not to be able to catch up with her, unsatisfied with all my efforts, I keep losing my trust. Finally I decided to stop and watch my integrity break. I sat under the dazzling sun, thinking what had just happened.
She was the light mistress, how could she take away the light from me? Instead I realized, she was taking away the easiness, the readiness of everything from my life. The word was misinterpreted, the ‘hope’ was to remain with me, and thus I looked the situation through the filled part of the glass. She took away the darkness, left me with undying light, power to realize, controlled patience. Light mistress, you lead me to light.
Amen.
Don’t die so soon… August 14, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in parallel existence.Tags: death, dream, hope, life, peace, thoughts
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In my mind, or should I say the so called Grey matter, there exists some unidentified thoughts which often trouble me. They question me, force me to change the perspective of everything I am looking at. My each and every action is sometimes governed by some unique quanta of free energy, which it takes me to a situation of virtual high.
I can’t live like this. Sometimes I see my peace flying away in front of me. Finding peace in you is one satisfaction, to see it escaping away in front of your closed eyes is another. You are satisfied to death, that at least you saw it.
When I am fast asleep, in the warm, comfortable armor of dreams, similar thoughts traverse them. Trying to kill my dreams. Death is painless they say, patterns of butterflies pass by, waiting for me to decode them. Why are you still alive is what they will ask me next time I dream.
Drop it, and it shall bounce back some day. I believe in the four letter word ‘hope’, since its with me forever. It looks like it’s the other side of coin called life, one of which is dream. Life is bright it says. And I hate people who interrupt it. My thoughts tell me I live life unwillingly, just for the sake of existing, I tell them its still noon; please don’t die so soon. I need you for my survival.
Amen.
I Gaze. July 2, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Fictitious, People, parallel existence.Tags: butterfly, grave, life, peace, sky
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Every night in the sky, I see the stars twinkling and the clouds maneuvering. This is like a silent world full of soundless and wrinkle free space. It’s like a butterfly you can’t take your eyes away from. People say that once someone dies, it represents a star in this beautiful sky. I love to believe in this, just because it seems such a pure thought, you can obey that this is true, since you want it to be!
One fine day, I saw a women sitting near a grave, but more importantly she was not crying or looking sad. There were no tears in her eyes, but there was this shine, the shine that we miss in our daily life, we forget the meaning of this shine, the twinkle that make our face so living! I believed that she had a reason to this shine; she was appearing as though she was laughing silently, in her mind. Might be remembering a worthy reason to live, so meaningful to sit at such a place and going through an always aspired feeling for peace. She was remembering some of the calmest moments in her life, and yet ready for what we call a very tainted, roaring other world.
It was like a silence filled, random and purified butterfly ride.
Even if it flaps its wings, there is only one small probability of a tornado somewhere. But this was what we consider diversity, the women sitting at a grave, was so quite, it appeared like there is a butterfly flying in one part of her mind, and a tornado on the other. And she gazed with a shine in her eyes like she wants the time to stop.
Walking with my Head Down. June 15, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Ripple, parallel existence.Tags: change, God, life, nature, think, walk
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Walking alone with an infinite thought process in the mind, and eyes closed, is one of my favorite and a very promising habit. Whenever I feel the need, I switch to this mode. It makes you feel closer to nature, yourself and to the world. You can hear sounds of nature then.
With my head down, eyes closed, I accept the life. The life as it has been.
It sometime feels so helpless, as with my head down, I am not able to change, to question anything happening around. But at the same time it gives the feeling of independence, a non caring attitude towards the world that I am not responsible for whatever is happening around. I am not the one answerable for all this, this has happened since it was destined to be so, no me or I in that.
I came here for a change, so I don’t think it’s bad to be what I came here for, to observe a change taking place, or to be the change?
And I continue walking with my head down…
Amen.
Satanicenthu.
The Free Fall. June 4, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Fictitious, Ripple, parallel existence.Tags: dream, life, nostalgia, think
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I think I am standing in nowhere, my eyes are closed, heart still beating, I can feel the pulse in my left wrist, and load of my featherweight body on my 2 legs. I am wearing shoes, no skull cap; yeah I can still touch the silver ring in my right hand’s little finger. No, I am not in my room, nor in my balcony. The wind is cold, hitting my face hard and naked. Even the left ear is paining due to the cold airstream here. This is the present.
The next moment I got a push from the back, I opened my eyes and Ohh man, I am flying, and or rather I should say crashing down to the ground level. I tried to see who pushed me, all I could realize was a building roof, and a hand with a ring in the little finger. Was that me?
Anyways, all I now know is that I am flying. An ache in my chest, a heart attack? I remember some words “when there is no imagination, there is no fear”, and it always worked. I folded my hands, maneuvered myself so that I can see the sky, cloud stained, shades of grey all over it. The cold breeze whistling in my ears, and I am going down at an incredible speed. What would I imagine now? The whole life was flashing in my eyes. I looked through the eyes of time. I think I did a good job? And of course a lot of unfinished tasks. This was the past.
And then I saw a distant star, between the grey clouds, a bit of smile visible in its twinkle. Just a thought, was it a sign what I just saw? Was it me who pushed the other me crashing down? I think I have seen it all, the life, the sky, the rain and the me. I knew it, I was the one who pushed me down, as this was what I needed to experience, to see my entire life, pondering upon dreams I had and everything. I think I am reaching the ground level, In a moment I would be lying on the ground, unable to move. Ohh wait!?
My silver ring is no more there in my little finger, Oh My God, who was that, the one who pushed me? And Dhupp..
I opened my eyes, in a room; sweat over my forehead, the only thing I remember was my silver ring, and I tried searching for it , it wasn’t there in my little finger. I got up, brushed my teeth, saw a familiar shape in the sink, and there it was, my only silver ring. Just on the verge of getting disappeared. I know what It wanted to show, fill the box of life with chocolates of pure, true and divine flavors, love syrup, and adventure coatings. That’s what you are going to remember forever.
I always knew that I am one of the fanatics who talks to himself, but this was the first time I did it this way. To free my self, to dream for me, to live as if I exist.
Amen.
Satanicenthu.
