What? November 20, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Fictitious, parallel existence.Tags: dreams, me, questions, random, thoughts
add a comment
Yes, this refers to the frequently asked questions. Questions! That haunts our mind. Questions! for which we always seek answers. More questions as we try to answer the previously questioned questions. And we enter a fractal type loop, with the same complexity and nature at each level we enter. Curiosity undefined.
Questions please us, they hurt us as well. Random questions, long asked questions, painful questions, happy questions each with their own importance. Difficult to classify them on the basis of happiness, emotions, feeling or willingness to ask them, it’s better if we give them a “effect quotient”. As the name suggests this may be the question evaluation based on the effect it has on our mind, heart. Thoughts to be precise!
What song do you hear? What colors do you see? What revolves around your head? What am I? Why me? Why this time? . . ? . . . ? . . . .? . . . . .?
NO END!
And the questions are infinite, like an ever extending d.n.a. structure in which you are moving on a strand, twisting and rotating!
The final question that comes to me after this piece of unimportant information would be why all these questions? Is it the voice of my broken dreams, or my unending quest for finding myself? And I keep questioning myself.
Amen!
The Silence ! November 5, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Fictitious, parallel existence.Tags: dreaming, mind, mystery, silence
add a comment
I am in a state of silence. Not that I am silent.
I can’t hear any macroscopic sounds, no murmuring, no whispers. Nothing actually felt by my auditory receptors, only the unknown vibrations felt by my mind, might be just the thoughts traveling across or feelings vibrating within.
“Please don’t make any noise, I want silence”. The sound of this voice keeps revolving around my head, over the mind, crossing above the ear lane, paralleled back tracing the mysterious vein. Appears as though, sounds are in the form of green bright leaves, with water droplets on them as on a winter morning reflecting back the sun’s rays. And the leaves are circling around my head.
Again and again, in a rhythmic manner, appears so beautiful that I hear them clearly and thus maintaining my state of silence, utter silence.
The beep sound from one of my ear, the sound of my eyes blinking, the noise of my breathing, my beautiful heart beat, the sound of blood flowing in my veins, and the silence around… and I am hearing none of them, I just can’t hear any of them.
What exactly it is then? Thoughts fell like silent leaves falling of the tree, blurred vision due to silent tears.
What silence? Its not silence, it’s not a state without sound! It’s more of a myth.
or just, I am in a state of silence. Not that I am silent.
Amen.
A Journey with Light. September 10, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Fictitious, parallel existence.Tags: darkness, fly, God, light, think
add a comment
As children we all have a very strong desire to fly, I too had a dream to fly. To fly high, fast and open. Many times I have dreams of flying, which shows my strong wish for flying. One day someone agreed to take me along with her to fly. And that was none other than light.
Light asked me before hand if I had any fear of speed, people or objects. As she prepared me for the journey with her, she was convinced that she isn’t doing any mistake. As I tried to keep my cool, excitement grew and nervousness flapped its wings and went away. Actually everything seems to be flying!
Surrendering to the light, I lay barefoot on the medium she provided. I was surprised to see such an affectionate, kind and concerned attitude of light. She cared a lot about people, lives, world and the universe. We traveled miles and miles in a straight line, through the space, reflected at the beautiful lakes, glaring bright we offered innumerable beautiful scenes. We entered the trees, reflecting only the green part of ours, we were absorbed fully by the shade, intensified by the shining peaks, entered the eyes, interpreted by the small cones and rods. We discovered a whole new world of loneliness and isolation existing in the entire natural phenomenon.
Then I asked light a simple question. Do you ever feel satisfied with all these mighty qualities and Godly significance you have?
Light replied in a very polite manner
People are still unaware that there is one very beautiful creature in this world, which is much faster than me and reaches everywhere before I can. And even more fascinating thing about her is that she is so fast that I haven’t met her till now.
Light smiled and left before I could thank her.
Amen.
I Gaze. July 2, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Fictitious, People, parallel existence.Tags: butterfly, grave, life, peace, sky
1 comment so far
Every night in the sky, I see the stars twinkling and the clouds maneuvering. This is like a silent world full of soundless and wrinkle free space. It’s like a butterfly you can’t take your eyes away from. People say that once someone dies, it represents a star in this beautiful sky. I love to believe in this, just because it seems such a pure thought, you can obey that this is true, since you want it to be!
One fine day, I saw a women sitting near a grave, but more importantly she was not crying or looking sad. There were no tears in her eyes, but there was this shine, the shine that we miss in our daily life, we forget the meaning of this shine, the twinkle that make our face so living! I believed that she had a reason to this shine; she was appearing as though she was laughing silently, in her mind. Might be remembering a worthy reason to live, so meaningful to sit at such a place and going through an always aspired feeling for peace. She was remembering some of the calmest moments in her life, and yet ready for what we call a very tainted, roaring other world.
It was like a silence filled, random and purified butterfly ride.
Even if it flaps its wings, there is only one small probability of a tornado somewhere. But this was what we consider diversity, the women sitting at a grave, was so quite, it appeared like there is a butterfly flying in one part of her mind, and a tornado on the other. And she gazed with a shine in her eyes like she wants the time to stop.
The Free Fall. June 4, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Fictitious, Ripple, parallel existence.Tags: dream, life, nostalgia, think
1 comment so far
I think I am standing in nowhere, my eyes are closed, heart still beating, I can feel the pulse in my left wrist, and load of my featherweight body on my 2 legs. I am wearing shoes, no skull cap; yeah I can still touch the silver ring in my right hand’s little finger. No, I am not in my room, nor in my balcony. The wind is cold, hitting my face hard and naked. Even the left ear is paining due to the cold airstream here. This is the present.
The next moment I got a push from the back, I opened my eyes and Ohh man, I am flying, and or rather I should say crashing down to the ground level. I tried to see who pushed me, all I could realize was a building roof, and a hand with a ring in the little finger. Was that me?
Anyways, all I now know is that I am flying. An ache in my chest, a heart attack? I remember some words “when there is no imagination, there is no fear”, and it always worked. I folded my hands, maneuvered myself so that I can see the sky, cloud stained, shades of grey all over it. The cold breeze whistling in my ears, and I am going down at an incredible speed. What would I imagine now? The whole life was flashing in my eyes. I looked through the eyes of time. I think I did a good job? And of course a lot of unfinished tasks. This was the past.
And then I saw a distant star, between the grey clouds, a bit of smile visible in its twinkle. Just a thought, was it a sign what I just saw? Was it me who pushed the other me crashing down? I think I have seen it all, the life, the sky, the rain and the me. I knew it, I was the one who pushed me down, as this was what I needed to experience, to see my entire life, pondering upon dreams I had and everything. I think I am reaching the ground level, In a moment I would be lying on the ground, unable to move. Ohh wait!?
My silver ring is no more there in my little finger, Oh My God, who was that, the one who pushed me? And Dhupp..
I opened my eyes, in a room; sweat over my forehead, the only thing I remember was my silver ring, and I tried searching for it , it wasn’t there in my little finger. I got up, brushed my teeth, saw a familiar shape in the sink, and there it was, my only silver ring. Just on the verge of getting disappeared. I know what It wanted to show, fill the box of life with chocolates of pure, true and divine flavors, love syrup, and adventure coatings. That’s what you are going to remember forever.
I always knew that I am one of the fanatics who talks to himself, but this was the first time I did it this way. To free my self, to dream for me, to live as if I exist.
Amen.
Satanicenthu.
