What? November 20, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Fictitious, parallel existence.Tags: dreams, me, questions, random, thoughts
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Yes, this refers to the frequently asked questions. Questions! That haunts our mind. Questions! for which we always seek answers. More questions as we try to answer the previously questioned questions. And we enter a fractal type loop, with the same complexity and nature at each level we enter. Curiosity undefined.
Questions please us, they hurt us as well. Random questions, long asked questions, painful questions, happy questions each with their own importance. Difficult to classify them on the basis of happiness, emotions, feeling or willingness to ask them, it’s better if we give them a “effect quotient”. As the name suggests this may be the question evaluation based on the effect it has on our mind, heart. Thoughts to be precise!
What song do you hear? What colors do you see? What revolves around your head? What am I? Why me? Why this time? . . ? . . . ? . . . .? . . . . .?
NO END!
And the questions are infinite, like an ever extending d.n.a. structure in which you are moving on a strand, twisting and rotating!
The final question that comes to me after this piece of unimportant information would be why all these questions? Is it the voice of my broken dreams, or my unending quest for finding myself? And I keep questioning myself.
Amen!
The Reality. November 11, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in People, Ripple.Tags: butterfly, dream, mind, People, reality, thoughts
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I believe in hope. I believe in change. I believe in butterfly effect. I want to think fantasy, want to stay away from the present untruth world, and keep my own castle in the sky, a world full of my thoughts. A dream world, according to me, made by me!
I often see people trying to stay close to reality. This may be because they find the transition from a dream world to a real world as problematic. Or they just don’t want to see themselves in the world they always desire. What is the real problem with just thinking what you want, or thinking literally anything? I believe that it won’t change the reality much, but will for sure make it a better place to live!
Birds swimming, fish flying, four legged laughing buildings, cycles speaking, a cup of coffee with someone at Mt. Everest. What’s wrong with you flying with the action of your hand? Zooming in and out with a blink of your eye, and whoosh you got teleported to wherever you want. Walking on the water, riding on the air, flowing with sound. Quietly smiling within when all others looking surprisingly at you.
Everyone is free to catch its own butterfly with her mind, you just need to open your eyes, and it shall fly! It’s dynamic, existing for only a small time. But definitely gives us happiness.
Yes, this was in fact written for you, to make you feel that the dream world is not that bad after all. There is nothing wrong in thinking what you always want to be, considering yourself as the owner of your own mind, own world. At least I hope so. Forever.
Amen.
The Silence ! November 5, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Fictitious, parallel existence.Tags: dreaming, mind, mystery, silence
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I am in a state of silence. Not that I am silent.
I can’t hear any macroscopic sounds, no murmuring, no whispers. Nothing actually felt by my auditory receptors, only the unknown vibrations felt by my mind, might be just the thoughts traveling across or feelings vibrating within.
“Please don’t make any noise, I want silence”. The sound of this voice keeps revolving around my head, over the mind, crossing above the ear lane, paralleled back tracing the mysterious vein. Appears as though, sounds are in the form of green bright leaves, with water droplets on them as on a winter morning reflecting back the sun’s rays. And the leaves are circling around my head.
Again and again, in a rhythmic manner, appears so beautiful that I hear them clearly and thus maintaining my state of silence, utter silence.
The beep sound from one of my ear, the sound of my eyes blinking, the noise of my breathing, my beautiful heart beat, the sound of blood flowing in my veins, and the silence around… and I am hearing none of them, I just can’t hear any of them.
What exactly it is then? Thoughts fell like silent leaves falling of the tree, blurred vision due to silent tears.
What silence? Its not silence, it’s not a state without sound! It’s more of a myth.
or just, I am in a state of silence. Not that I am silent.
Amen.
The Flying Stones. October 24, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Ripple, parallel existence.Tags: flying, life, memory, mind, peace, stones
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The flying stones.
Flying inspires my soul as though it can do anything. The idea of flying, in fact even the sight of flying makes me feel closer to nature than ever. One of my favorite acts while walking in the campus is throwing stones in the lakes, so that they appear flying on the surface.
The stone bounces off the surface of the lake and then finally sinks. As if the stone is on its last and final journey. after which it won’t be able to see the sun, the sky, the moon and the stars, no moving humans, no falling leaves, no butterfly passing by, no birds chirping and yeah! No more Arpit picking it up and throwing it in the lake.
It creates the momentarily ripples at each bounce, beautifully originating from the stone’s tip and peacefully disappearing into the water. Depicting the light and dark of the memories it holds. Creates the impression of being considerably important yet erasable. Like yellow mixing with blue for some time contains its yellowness before it being recognized as green.
Taking names while throwing the stones, I make a silent wish or request on each throw, even I don’t know what, but I remember that I do .Watching such a moment relieves you of all the worry you have. It’s comforting and it’s dynamic. A very important habit that has now became essential.
Amen.
Mnemophobic ! October 18, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in parallel existence.Tags: life, memory, mind, mnemophobia, think
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While discussing the not so faint memories with myself, I discovered what kind of fear I have. It’s been given a term “mnemophobia”. This refers, in general, to the fear of memories. I have always been amazed how a thing happened in past, partially or totally stored in some corner of our brain analyzed deeply by our heart can create such an impact on our whole life.
What I did believed always was that things happen, and they happen unknowingly. But memories create fear in me. Good memories create a situation in which everything seems less. They force us to think that the present situation always lack something. And about the bad memories, they follow you till eternity ! They are the most selfish things ever created by ourselves, for ourselves !
Indirectly I think, infact I know that I deeply suffer from this mnemophobia !
Insecure soul, I still believe in creating memories ! memories that shall live forever in one mind or another. Memories that would be in my mind, and remind me of what I have been, and thus to a good extent what I will be.
Go hell with my “for a change” philosophy, go hell with the innovation. Give me memories, memories to cherish forever, and I would be grateful to you.
Amen.
Satanicenthu
Letters to my Soul. Again. October 14, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Ripple, parallel existence.Tags: Amen, God, heart, letter, mind, think
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Dear Arpit,
It’s been over 20 years now, and you have been well acknowledging my presence as well as importance in your life. It’s been very well known that you are nothing without me; people will consider you a paranormal (as some still say) without me. You have got machinery, a mechanism by means of which you can react, think, and carry yourself in the form of me. I “hope” (yes one of your much hyped words) that you consider this as a strict warning.
Do not forget at any stage that I can make you feel so much depressed, retarded that you will consider dying as a better option than to live. You are, because you have me !
Now follow me carefully, follow me attentively, without reasoning ( anyways you can’t reason without me ) to whatever I say. I want you to follow me, consider my appetite for your decision making. Please understand, I would never ask anything bad for you. I want you to stop following your heart ! stop listening to him, especially when I am in command. Believe me, its for your better !
It’s a humble request, kindly follow me, or else be ready to face the consequences.
Yours sincerely,
Mind.
——-
Dear Arpit,
You often would have felt the presence of someone who is always with you. I am the one who beats for you (though I know I get the orders from someone else) , but I selflessly belongs to you.
The sometime beautiful and sometime dreadful feeling, the anxiety you feel most of the time, the shivering, the panic, the chaos within, it’s all because you possess me. All that apart, you admire “nature”( another hyped word for you) because of me. I am the one who tells you to run in the rain, to appreciate the beauty of a butterfly.
Most importantly I am the humble creator of your very own heartbeat, the sound that you love when you run, when you work. Yes, it’s the sound you love to hear when you are alone !
Now, please consider my prayer, listen to me always. I am the one responsible for your existence; I give you the emotions you always want to feel, and I always give what you want, trust me.
Yours only,
Heart.
——-
My soul thought. Oh no, I mean felt! No I mean it can’t do both of these without the mind and the heart. So I suppose my soul contained these within me. I have a mind that can think, think really well if I allow him to do so. A heart, which know what I want, which gives me all type of feelings I desire.
I just have to listen to my mind or heart when they are right. Basically we are at the same place where we all started. I love my mind and my heart !
Amen.
Satanicenthu !
I Suffer. September 30, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Ripple, parallel existence.Tags: dream, suffer, think, time
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An absolutely pessimistic post, about what happens when you are in pain. Pain because you know what is happening, but can’t help it. You, trying to ‘be the change’ in the situation even worsens it.
You try to think things that didn’t happened. Thinking that you can come back easily from this situation, can easily come up to the surface of this deep lake to which you are into. Strangled in the green grass of the lake.
I want to rain along with the clouds, flow with the wind, fall along with the tear. Just want to get out of this situation. I want to come out of this unending, true dream.
My hands are shivering and are cold with sweat. I could feel the blood flowing in my veins, could feel every little possibility of things going wrong. Just want to hear a word “yes” for my only question “will you be there with me?”
I just want the time to stop, so that all this would stop and I can hide in the little places dispersing in the time tornado. Or all I could ask for after experiencing all this is forgiveness. Or should I still suffer, and wait for the time to never stop?
Amen.
A Journey with Light. September 10, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Fictitious, parallel existence.Tags: darkness, fly, God, light, think
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As children we all have a very strong desire to fly, I too had a dream to fly. To fly high, fast and open. Many times I have dreams of flying, which shows my strong wish for flying. One day someone agreed to take me along with her to fly. And that was none other than light.
Light asked me before hand if I had any fear of speed, people or objects. As she prepared me for the journey with her, she was convinced that she isn’t doing any mistake. As I tried to keep my cool, excitement grew and nervousness flapped its wings and went away. Actually everything seems to be flying!
Surrendering to the light, I lay barefoot on the medium she provided. I was surprised to see such an affectionate, kind and concerned attitude of light. She cared a lot about people, lives, world and the universe. We traveled miles and miles in a straight line, through the space, reflected at the beautiful lakes, glaring bright we offered innumerable beautiful scenes. We entered the trees, reflecting only the green part of ours, we were absorbed fully by the shade, intensified by the shining peaks, entered the eyes, interpreted by the small cones and rods. We discovered a whole new world of loneliness and isolation existing in the entire natural phenomenon.
Then I asked light a simple question. Do you ever feel satisfied with all these mighty qualities and Godly significance you have?
Light replied in a very polite manner
People are still unaware that there is one very beautiful creature in this world, which is much faster than me and reaches everywhere before I can. And even more fascinating thing about her is that she is so fast that I haven’t met her till now.
Light smiled and left before I could thank her.
Amen.
The Darkness. September 8, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in Ripple, parallel existence.Tags: darkness, dream, light, luck, mind, time, wait
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It happens sometimes that we wait; we wait because someone will be there when we leave. Wait in order to be replaced by someone else? Why can’t both of us be there together? Why is it that I had to leave when you will be there? We do need to spend some common time. Some very fruitful time, enrich our life with this time.
Whose fault is it? Is it that the lively colors cannot come along with the blindness? Or is it that chaos leaves peacefully for the tranquility to settle? We do not believe in the full moon till we haven’t seen the dark side of it. Call it the vicious circle of universe, but someone has to sacrifice for the other somebody to exist.
I keep the doors open, happily and readily for the anti of me to come and replace me. So it means that emptiness waits for you to break it. Dreams are seen just to be wakened up by someone in between? Silence recognizes itself when supersonic sound breaks it? Should silence not be allowed to spend some time with its counter part sound? Would loneliness never want to meet someone? Won’t it not require someone to share its wisdom earned after so many years of hardships?
Confused by the paranoid situations occurring in front of me, I sometimes ask myself; does corresponding thoughts intersect?
If light has reached somewhere, then it does imply that darkness would have been there long before we think light reached. So should I admit that it is darkness due to which we are acknowledging the importance of light in our life?
Feel lucky enough to have spend some common time together. Pretty lucky !
Amen.
The Light Mistress. September 2, 2009
Posted by satanifiedenthu in People, Ripple.Tags: hope, life, light, mind
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Walking in the sun, body drenched in the sweat, I saw a little, cute girl in her school uniform. She was holding an umbrella in order to be protected from the mighty sunshine. No tint of breeze, it was all glittering yellow, bright yellow. Then on the road in front of me was her, and in front of her was cloud’s shadow. A big grey colored spot, like an oasis in the desert. I try to follow her, in order to get the shade of the cloud.
I kept praying to God to hold that beautiful, grey colored form of the hope in this glaring sunlight. And so I followed that little girl or the Light mistress as I thought her to be, as she was the one leading that ‘hope’. I tried to quicken my steps in order to reach there, but it just carried along with her.
And then I realized, she was taking away my ‘hope’, the goodness in the life, the nurturing part of the nature. I was annoyed not to be able to catch up with her, unsatisfied with all my efforts, I keep losing my trust. Finally I decided to stop and watch my integrity break. I sat under the dazzling sun, thinking what had just happened.
She was the light mistress, how could she take away the light from me? Instead I realized, she was taking away the easiness, the readiness of everything from my life. The word was misinterpreted, the ‘hope’ was to remain with me, and thus I looked the situation through the filled part of the glass. She took away the darkness, left me with undying light, power to realize, controlled patience. Light mistress, you lead me to light.
Amen.
